What is God’s perfect timing about? When my husband turned 45 God gave us the surprise of our lives. That perfect birthday gift was our 3rd child. Our daughters were 10 and 12. Diapers were long behind us. Growing independence in our children was a daily growth process, a convenience, and a treat.
I was excited about ramping up my career and taking it to the next level. I was on birth control at the time and was not at all praying, expecting, planning, or preparing for a pregnancy. Little did I know, the Lord has other plans for us. God’s Perfect Timing was at work.
Our Planned Trajectory
My husband and I were hitting our stride with our daughters. They were good kids and were trustworthy. Life was golden.
We were heading upward in our careers, we enjoyed volunteering at our Church in leadership roles. I led Christian Education and sang in our praise band and he co-led the Diaconate at our church. We volunteered as coaches on our daughter’s softball teams. We were connected to our community and involved.
We looked forward to traveling as a family now that the kids were a bit older and we were quite content and happy. There was really nothing missing from our lives. No holes we felt that needed to be plugged up.
The Silent Enemy
What we didn’t know was there was a chasm beginning to open, that we knew nothing about. A hole in the fabric of our family that would nearly tear it apart. It was like a silent killer. Laying quietly in the background growing bigger and bigger.
A silent depression was beginning to eat at the soul of our youngest daughter. Entering middle school took a greater toll on her than any of us could imagine or even see. The security in her friendships she once felt began cracking, ebbing away at her confidence and sense of self-worth.
Thoughts of self-harm, anxiety and loathing began to take root. More on that later.
God’s Trajectory for us
When I tell you that I was all set on having any more babies, I tell you the truth, I was certain of it. We gave away most everything years ago, except for the crib, I am not sure why we couldn’t part with it. We intended to give it to one of our girls someday because it was still in great condition and really nice.
I just couldn’t bring myself to junk it. Like a very large family heirloom that would probably not be up to code 20 years from now.
But if anyone would joke and ask if we were having any more, I would laugh at the ludicrousness of the idea. I had so many reasons: We were old, I was high risk, we gave up diapers years ago. I got rid of the last of the random legos on the living room floor, and I wasn’t about to do that again. Our kids were already in middle school. I could go on and on!!
Shoot, we even got nice furniture for the living room since we weren’t worried about pen marks and jumping kids anymore! God must have been chuckling, knowing what was coming up ahead!! I certainly would have. Actually, I did laugh out loud many times in the early days of my pregnancy, because the joke was definitely on me.
In fact, I was on birth control when we conceived, sort of. I pride myself on being part of the 1% who screw up birth control. Or maybe God had his hand on that detail as well? Probably.
The point is, so many things in life are out of our control. It’s best to trust God’s timing of our life path.
For Teens, the cuteness and sweetness of baby siblings can save lives and give new purpose
Back to my Tweenager. At a time when her inner life was spiraling out of control, her baby brother was born. 4 weeks early in fact. Another of God’s Perfect Timing, I am sure.
My daughter came to see this tiny precious vulnerable newborn as someone to love and protect. Someone who needed her as much as she needed him. As he grew and was more and more responsive, I think she realized she could not inflict upon him a life frame of losing his older sister.
She realized she wanted to be there for the milestones and the fun stuff and the growing.
She then realized how much she wanted to grow herself and have her own milestones.
Praise God from whom all blessing flow. Bit by bit, she was becoming free of her burdens.
God knew the gift he was giving our family. He knew we would need our son. He knew the joy and the fun and the blessings that were coming our way. He also knew the pain that was coming and how our son would help with the healing process.
He knew things we did not. I am grateful for our ignorance of what was to come.
I am so glad that he took odds that were pretty lopsided and blasted obstacles out of the way.
From the moment I recovered from my initial shock of pregnancy, I steadfastly declared that the child in my womb would fulfill a deep and lasting purpose in this world.
Praise be to God, he already has.
God’s Perfect Timing Calls for Flexibility and Graciously Learning to Release Control
Well, life is so much different than it was 3 years ago. When I found out I was pregnant, my girls were 10 and 12. Now they are headed into full teenage years of 13 and 15, and our boy will be 2. Pretty funny right?
Life is a whirlwind, but for good reasons.
We still serve at our church though we gave up the responsibilities of leadership roles for support roles. I still sing, and I happily Praise the Lord with thanksgiving.
Our girls are still active in sports, but now we run after our son and cheerlead from the stands.
My husband is still on an upward climb at work, but he now has the opportunity to work from home several times a week and can take his boy to the park at lunchtime on those days.
I took a career turn and am here writing about our experiences in hopes it will serve you in some way.
Our girl still struggles (to a much lesser degree) but she triumphs day by day, really as life is meant to be. For that, she inspired us all and we are very proud of her.
Enjoy the Ride. Enjoy it to the full.
I don’t know what you are waiting on God for. However, I can encourage you is to trust in God’s Perfect Timing. He’s got this.
Meanwhile look at your life and see where you can enjoy it to the full.
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Cheers!
Chandra
Chandra is the chocolate-chip loving mother of 2 teenage girls who started over again with a baby boy in her 40’s! She is the author of The Mom’s Playbook to Conquering Softball Season. She gives other moms the tools they need to prepare their daughters for real life. Her content is centered on helping girls grow up to be well-rounded, equipped, expressive, confident, intelligent, capable, kind and independent.
