When an experienced mom in her 40s is expecting another baby after a decade, this is how she can celebrate and prepare with a “age gap” third baby shower. Baby Sprinkle? No, thank you.
Your surprise age gap baby deserves to be celebrated with a baby shower, no baby “sprinkling” here. We are showering your baby with welcome and celebration. Here’s how!
First off, Congratulations!!! How excited to be in this position of starting over with a new baby? But I know how you’re feeling, the prospect of getting all the gear you need for your new baby is daunting.
When it has been several years between your pregnancies (maybe even a decade!) and you are starting over with a new baby, its time to celebrate with a fabulous baby shower for your age gap baby and forget about what tradition dictates.
You may even wonder if having a baby shower for your third baby is a good idea.
Screw tradition. You are bucking tradition anyways by having a large age gap between your children. Who cares about “proper etiquette”.
This baby deserves to be celebrated as much as your first baby, if not more. I mean, if you want to talk about miracles in the making go right ahead, I’m with you.
Don’t skip out on the fun you, and your friends and family will have in celebrating the coming of your new bundle of joy. A PARTY is called for!
Here are a few tips to help you get ready to be showered with love, diapers, and fun baby anticipation.
You NEED to have a baby shower for this third baby.
Those old customs of no baby shower after baby #1 are fading, and if you were like me with more than a decade between your youngest children, expecting an age gap baby, they don’t apply at all.
First off, you probably don’t have anything left from your older kid’s baby days. And if you did, it’s probably worn out, expired or obsolete.
This “caboose baby” is like having your first baby all over again. You will probably need a crib, and a stroller, and the playpen, diapers, and all the things.
Actually, you don’t need all the things, and we will go over that in a bit, but you will need a lot when you are starting over.
Why not allow your friends and family to help?
Don’t wait too far past 32 weeks.
Advanced maternal age means you need to be prepped for your new baby a bit earlier than a first-time mom. Just in case.
My daughters were born 25 months apart and my son was born another 11 years later. My girls were 13 and 11 when he was born.
However, I am a perfect example of a first-time mom delivering pre-term. When I was pregnant with my first child I didn’t make my big family baby shower because my baby was delivered 9 weeks early. We held a welcome baby party after she came home from the hospital 2 months later!
So, while my daughter was busy growing in the NICU, I was running around shopping malls with postpartum cesarean wounds in my tender belly picking up all the gear and stuff we needed for her. NOT IDEAL!!!
With my second daughter, who was born full term, we didn’t have a shower because I still had everything we needed from my first. Thank God she was a girl, and she was born at the right season for the clothes, that’s all I will say on that. Saved me a bundle!! God is good.
But with my last pregnancy, I had already given up all that baby stuff of course and was starting over. The only thing I kept was the crib because it was so well made and I wanted to pass it on someday.
I was being monitored carefully, you know, being a geriatric pregnancy and all!! But things were looking good and so I had my shower at 32 weeks.
I was hospitalized with surprise preeclampsia and our son was born 4 weeks after the baby shower. A full 4 weeks pre-term. Thank goodness we already had my shower and was fully prepared for his arrival.
The only thing I did not have was premie clothes (and why would I?) Our friends promptly hooked us up with several cute preemie onesies and outfits for the summer heat after he was born.
All that to say, do not cut it close to 36 weeks or later. You could go 10 days late, or not. One just never knows.
Plus, you don’t want to be that big or uncomfortable when you are actually setting up all the new gear or doing exchanges. You want time to settle it all and truly your nesting instincts are going to be in RAVAGE force by then.
So try to schedule the baby shower for around the 30-32 week mark if at all possible.
Baby Shower Essential Reminders
Don’t take this thing on by yourself.
Ask a good friend to coordinate the party, but make it easy on her and invite the people yourself.
In my case, a couple of good friends from church asked me if they could host a party for me. I was thrilled and they did a beautiful job. I was so appreciative.
All I had to do was get the word out (I used Evites and Facebook and texting invites), and show up. It was AWESOME!
K.I.S.S. Keep it simple sweetheart
Do whatever you can to keep it an inexpensive affair. You don’t want anyone spending excessive money on a one day party when those funds are better spent on all that expensive baby gear. You know the deal, diapers anyone??
Pinterest worthy party decorations should not be the goal, friends. Happy memories with family and friends should be the only goal.
And you don’t really need all the baby shower games and all that silliness. If you are into that, go right ahead girlfriend, this is your party. But if that is not your style, do not feel obligated to include games or anything that doesn’t vibe with your style.
Prep your baby registry and be smart about it.
Share your Registry Details and Give Smart Options
Thing is times are much different now than they were with our first pregnancies. I don’t know about you but when my first two were born there were no smartphones, let alone internet available in every home and vast online shopping practices.
The baby registry game has changed.
With the loss of the big box baby store, we have to be more creative in how we shop for and register for baby items.
I am part of the old school of course, and I still like to see and feel what I am buying. Retail stores work best for this.
But if there is no store in your area to shop for your baby items that have a decent selection, you may have to purchase items online.
In that case, make sure you shop from a place that has a solid and fair free shipping and returns policy. This is critical.
One with a baby registry is even better.
In comes my top three picks:
Amazon Baby Registry
Check out this post on 10 reasons a family with a newborn should get Amazon Prime to make life a whole lot easier for baby’s first year.
Of course, there are local stores and an online option for delivery to your doorstep. The selection is not amazing due to limited space, but you can find some baby basics in the store.
This is my favorite local baby retail store with a great many options in products plus an online purchasing option. Check it out.
When sharing your Baby Registry details, give a local retail store option for those that like to shop in person. Give an online option for those that like to have someone else do the driving and delivery. Especially if you have family and friends that are no longer local to you.
Don’t go crazy adding everything to your baby registry. Not only will your living space be taken over by baby gear, but if you recall, you don’t need all that stuff anyway.
You’re more mature now, you have the benefit of life experience to teach you that you didn’t use half of it more than 3 times anyway. You can get by with less and you’ll feel less overwhelmed.
Baby gear and baby toy clutter cause stress. Don’t pile on unnecessary stress if you can help it.
You decide what comes in when you control the registry, so be cool when you make your selections.
Here are some ideas of things you could add to your registry that actually adds value and are helpful items you’ll actually use.
Not finding out the gender of your baby? 9 reasons why it’s more fun this way!
Diaper Changing Station: 10 Things to Have on Hand
How to have a peacefully sleeping baby from Day 1
4th Trimester: How to have a happy baby postpartum
10 reasons a family with a newborn should get Amazon Prime
Have a great time celebrating and preparing for baby.
By the time the baby shower had arrived, I was well over my shock that I was expecting again, and was genuinely excited that our baby would be joining our family soon.
I also knew that my family and friends were genuinely excited for us. Here is the other thing, by the time I was expecting again, I had really good solid friendships amassed over years in many areas of my life.
I had friends from work, friends from church, friends from my relationships with the moms of my daughters’ schoolmates.
All these women were ecstatic for us and wanted to celebrate with my family.
We had a really fun time playing all the goofy games and chowing down on the pot luck style food.
We all took lots of pictures and had fun checking out all the latest cuteness from the baby department as it was unwrapped. It was great.
Time for some real talk about your Age Gap Baby.
Are you worried people might start talking about you and cracking jokes?
People WILL be astounded that you are having another baby after 10+ years.
Friends your age may say, “Oh wow, can’t believe you are doing this all over again.” And let’s be honest, you can’t believe it either, but we will leave that right there.
I knew I was shaking my head, so why not with my girlfriends too?
You might get a few teases and ribbings, but for the most part, everybody is going to be super excited for the arrival of a new baby, your new baby, because let’s face it, EVERYBODY loves babies.
The new baby smell, baby coos, and sweetness. Your baby is going to be loved.
Not just by your family and her older siblings, but by all your friends and extended family too.
So handle the jokes with ease, and let them fly off your back. It’s all good fun and as long as they actually have your back when baby finally comes, it’s all good.
You are about to embark on a very cool adventure with your peanut, and now, with your baby shower, you will be all set up for feedings, traveling, sleeping, and playing with your sweet bundle of joy.
Get Excited for Your Age Gap Third Baby Shower Celebration
This is such an amazing time as you get ready to meet your baby. You can’t wait to see if the ultrasound images looked anything like the real thing.
You can’t wait to hold your baby and smell that new baby sweetness.
It really is wonderful and a true blessing and privilege.
Celebrate, prepare and most of all, get excited about your baby shower!!!
You can sign up for my baby shower prep checklist and the registry checklist in my library.
P.S. if you have any inclination that your baby might have a layover in the NICU (Special Care Nursery) please check out my NICU Series for helpful tips from a mom who’s been there twice, a decade apart.
P.P.S. I have created a Baby Shower Checklist to keep your planning organized for your Baby Shower. Get access to it here in my Library.
Chandra is the chocolate-chip loving mother of 2 teenage girls who started over again with a baby boy in her 40’s! She is the author of The Mom’s Playbook to Conquering Softball Season. She gives other moms the tools they need to prepare their daughters for real life. Her content is centered on helping girls grow up to be well-rounded, equipped, expressive, confident, intelligent, capable, kind and independent.